What really awaits you in exile. No, it's not "wash toilets"

[DARPA]

7 dangers of emigration

In France, I loved to read the notes, why from Russia do not blame. They are written by people, not sniff emigration. I'll tell you what really terrible horrors await you over the hill

1. You will become a swear

Yes, you are a man of culture and all-this does not allow. We are not with the tundra, I suppose. But once you drop on his foot pan with boiling water and say what you say. No one would turn out not shake his head without looking reproachfully. And everything. You get the hang of. This process can not be stopped.

2. You feel like an idiot

Yes, at first it will seem that no one understands the Russian language. Friends from Russia will constantly offer to meet with a Russian who knows their neighbor, cousin. They somehow did not come to mind that friends on the sole basis that you have a common language - a strange idea. But do not worry, full of Russian everywhere, so you will meet people with whom you want to be friends just like that, out of love for man. You quickly get used to share ideas with each other about everything, does not mince words. You believe that you two have a secret language. And it is here that you and waiting for a terrible trap. Once you say to a friend:

- Zazyr what an ass!

And Ass turn around and tell you what you said a pan with boiling water from point №1

3. You are sure to learn a foreign language

Even if you move to live in a country where people hiss and snap, it is still not wriggle. Well, except that zasyadet in the basement, plug the ears and close your eyes just so human brain arranged. Here you will, I suppose, were delighted. The Early! This is the first you will be glad that you are so well done - a foreign language learned. But claw stuck - the bird is the abyss. Learning a language in a natural environment - an irreversible process, and you do not have time to look around, you start in a foreign language to dream, to think on it, and then become forgotten Russian. Forget - do not forget, if it enters back into the Russian-speaking environment, you'll be fine again speak in their native, but without the constant support of the environment, you will become very silly mistakes, will say wild things, like "Nagy pants" or "take the bus" (not storm and sit on it in a sense), and constantly stumble:

-Emu Done ... as in Russian? The Radio? No, not the radio ...

-The Television?

- Sam you TV! A! X-rays!

And you will look like a complete idiot. As in paragraph №2

4. You will lay down the burden of responsibility

Life is not fair. Many Russian love to look like an idiot, but not everyone is ready to protect the image of the motherland. Will you be one for all the rap. And not only do you have to be responsible for the actions of all Russian in the world, your personal shortcomings become an integral feature of the Russian people. Why are you Russian, so loud slurp? You do not learn to behave at the table? Why Russian dress so badly? Is Russian do not know what to pick your nose indecent? Why are you in my mind is so bad you think? What do you have in Russian schools do not? Here you have a choice: either toe the line all day and go sleep at attention or country disgrace.

5. You hate everything Russian

No, you will not get bored by birches, dolls and samovar. You will start to feel sick from them. Are you Russian? Drink vodka! Are you Russian? Kalinka sing about! Honestly? I would like to knock on the head.

6. You lose your roots

First you torment, repeating syllables: I'm from VER-KHO-YANSK (Nizhnievartovsk, Vyshny Volochiok). But any patience comes to an end. And once you peresanete draw on a napkin map of Russia to put an end to the right place. Yes, you betray his small home. No one can remember neither the first, nor the tenth time, how to pronounce the damn VSH-ki-CJ. You give up and, internally, blushing to his ancestors, will say: "I am from Moscow."

7. You will lose all

And here is the main argument against immigration, which is often mentioned in the propaganda materials: there you are not wanted. This is - the truth. But I will reveal to you a little secret: you do not need anyone anywhere, except himself. Do not think I do not agitate to emigrate. Just enough to make lists of why you should or should not do this or that. 10 reasons to get married ... 8 reasons not to buy boots ... 15 reasons to quit your job ... The most compelling reason to do something - "I want." And so now I live in Nantes, the capital of the department of Loire-Atlantique.

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